Yes. Again I will say how much I don’t keep secrets. I will tell you how far my life as an open book; an open book for any living thing to read and get to understand. An open book with open pages. Yes. I will tell you how much I hate keeping things in my heart, how I will deal with every other issue on the spot and forget about it. How I will tell it on your face that I hate what you do and love what you leave undone. I will even tell you when you have made my life miserable. I will tell you how much I will not allow you to interfere with the happiness that has taken me so long to get. I will tell you all sorts of things until you believe what I say.
But there is this one thing that I will not let you know. The little secret that have kept to myself long enough to let my right hand know what the left knows. This little secret that have held unto day in day out. The little secret that only allows me to think of it and cry a lot when none is around. Its so disciplined to itself that it never crosses my mind when someone is near me. It has taught itself so perfectly not to come up when my mind is engaged. It only comes up when I have my mind 100% attentive to this little secret alone.
But here I am. Not knowing when and how this will come to an end. I keep asking myself what to do with my little secret. All I also ask for is for my heart to cooperate and never tell out my little secret. I always beat my left chest, so much close to the heart whenever it wants to betray me. I pinch it so painful that it stops beating for a while and listens. I have perfectly taught it to listen to me when I tell about about our little secret.
Not that have lacked a soul to share with. Not that I fear the outcomes if I ever share with my right hand. Not that it will do me any harm if I let go off our little secret. But I live knowing that my heart will break down the moment it will betray me. I am so sure of killing and tearing it apart if it tells out my little secret.
All said and done. Dear heart, will you help me keep my little secret for seven other months?