Yees……i am in the process of knowing who Lilian is. Just like you have all along been thinking i had explored this young girl fully. I thought i knew so well what she can do and what she can’t, i thought i knew all she can handle and what she just can’t stand; how wrong i have always been….
The Lilian have known for 22 years, 2 months and 18 days could not compromise on things she thought were just not right. This same girl have known all along could not allow human beings, despite their “seniority” or “juniority” dictate what she does and how she feels, it has never been like her to swallow bitter saliva but still afford a broad smile. But now I know….for sure I know how “good” she can look in the corridors while her heart is heavy laden. Maybe its now that she has learnt to treat people not as they deserve but as they wish.
Time and again I promised myself not to get into civil service; a fact that I may be holding to date. I never loved the way such offices operate nor the people that work there (sadly my mummy and daddy are civil servants)….and here i remember the things i write may be used against me and have to take my words back…damn the freedom I am denying myself.
Not all people will in the long run understand the confused nature of this write up…but at least one Shiku Ngigi will. At least she was there to listen to my cries and lamentations. Being one of my most plot-less days I wrote a half volume “novel” which she managed to read. A lot being about her and somehow helping me out to learn who I am.
That I managed to repeat a piece of work up to 7 times but still didn’t manage to convince “MR. BOSS” that it was right talks of another me. That I have been up and down the corridors probably doing nothing constructive also speaks of another lady that I am yet to meet. Okay, I also answered to so many calls, most of which were not so friendly, i will not forget that I woke up at 9:30 while i was supposed to be in a meeting at 8:00 (thanks to the ever amazing rain).
A midst all these I may not give a reasonable account of this day. Seated behind this screen I managed to read through blogs, gutter press, grapevine and what have you. I also managed to be so good to some weird lady who decided to add up to my frustration. It has never been like me before and am still wondering if its Lilian writing this.
Well, if you spoke with me today, whether in spoken or written “I cannot recall whether or not we spoke and what we said” I want to know who I am……….