I am not fond of doing straight talks. But I am forced to do this. Some people just pushed me so hard to the wall into doing this. The reason I blog. The reason I think. The reason I write. Not to say that I am out to write about people, but to be sincere and let you know that at times the things you do around me form part of my thoughts which in some day will be translated into words. Am not saying you stop behaving yourselves.
I am not here to tell you to act in a manner that will please me. Hell No! Not even my bible advocates for that. “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you.” (Proverbs 29:25). I am one woman who believes what other people think about me is not my business. “I only seek to please Him who sent me.” (John 5:30). But all the same I am concerned with how you talk to me, relate with me, and most importantly how you request for anything from me. It has something to do with ME and it worries me a lot. Not only me, but all women that think like I do.
I write to you concerning your level of attraction towards me. I write to you to remind you that it’s at all no crime for you to fall in love with me. As many as may wish can keep admiring me and sending those weird messages, I forgive you for that. In any case any woman wants to be admired. Any woman wants all necks breaking when she moves around. It gives an assurance of beauty and exemplary looks.
I write to you in connection to your choice of words and diction. I need not remind you that you are a man or that I am a woman, full of expectations from any sane man that thinks are worth relating with me. Not to scare you away or set the standards so high, but just to set the bars as good as me. The more reason you almost break your necks. The more reason you take a second glance at me. That you do this already sets you in a race, puts you in a competition and tells you there is need for a win.
Most importantly I write to you to remind you that women are not second class beings. It’s true that we came after you were created, but we only came to you as a gift from God. With all that already existed God looked into your eyes and noticed so much dissatisfaction and loneliness. Not your large and huge cars, not your flowing money accounts, not herds of cows, not large and fancy buildings, not the good looking you, but just company and companionship that prompted God into giving you such a wonderful gift.
How then do you want to behave to us as though you are the gifts? Not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow. You in my life is not a gift but I am your gift, for better and for worse. That you can afford a good meal in a prestigious hotel for me doesn’t make you a gift in my life. A plate of nicely fried sukuma would still take away the hunger thoughts and put a smile on my face. It’s the very fact that you actually deem me worth your time and resources that matters; the more reason it has to stem from your heart and not your pocket.
Whether you love me for who I am or what you have seen, remember the initial fact that I am a woman, older or younger than you are. It matters so much, it determines how you are supposed to view and treat me, not how you want to. I have always seen brothers in all men that I come across, do the same before you get yourself frustrated. Step by step we go it. “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”(1Timothy 5:1-2)
I write to you to let you know that I am aware of what happened at the Garden of Eden. Spare me the reminder. In any case you are reminding me of how you men have decided to ignore your roles, fail the women in your lives miserably then at the top of your voices scream and yell on how they took after Eve. Tell me where Adam was when he was supposed to protect Eve from the serpent. Tell me why he left his companion to wander alone into the deep of the garden. Tell me why he did not take the walk with her. Tell me with whose company he was left while the companion was having a good time with the serpent. Tell me where you will be when your woman will be having a good time with the garden boy.
Dear men, get it right that there is no single day we will exchange roles with you. Let the manhood in you so be reflected in your words and actions that all ladies who happen to speak to you may know that you can make a husband. You don’t have to narrate to me how good you are at anything. You don’t have to buy my attention and love if you think you are the man that God intended in Adam. You don’t have to shy off from who you are to win my love. If it’s a No today it will forever be a No despite what. Take that and move on. Probably your Eve is somewhere patiently waiting for you while you have insisted on wasting time with cows and monkeys somewhere in the garden. God is waiting for you to sleep so He can get one of your ribs and get your eve ready. I am just not yours.
Finally “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of Jehovah.” (Proverbs 18:22). How else do you want me to tell you that marrying a woman is not a favor you are doing her? Are you not doing us injustice by even thinking so? That I have to leave my father’s house for yours, leave my parents and get enjoined with yours, leave all the good and bad things I have grown up with just for you, then you dare think you are doing me a favor? Come on! But this gives me an answer to why married men are still on the hunt for young girls that should be their daughters. They have not taken time to value the gifts and good things that they already have. They have just not realized the favor they have found.
Enough said. If God thought you better as a man than a woman, then be that man.